Week Before Christmas

HoHoHo. It is the week of Christmas now with the day of presents ending the week on Saturday. I struggle with tangled lights, getting dizzy going round the tree. New lights this year - LED - means taking off the old and putting on the new. Yes I have an artificial tree. It is beautiful but never as nice as a fresh cut fir. It is the smell I love of fresh boughs. My family criticizes me for my 'Martha Stewart' tree with a theme and colour coordinated accents. I like it to look nice although I miss the mess of brightly coloured paper garland and popcorn strung with cranberries and multi coloured lights. I keep hoping for grandchildren to start that all over again. My perfect solution would be a real tree in the Recroom where the fireplace is, decorated with all the old ornaments and multi coloured lights. I can't seem to get this one tree up though, so that is probably a pipedream. Well Merry Christmas to all and I will post the tree when done. Happy Holidays - Kathy

Unpredictibility - Weather and Me

I never liked to be constrained into being the same all the time. I like the freedom of spontaneously doing what moves me. In the same breathe I hypocritically want to know what the weather is doing. Last night I looked at the cloudless sky and decided to leave my windows open a crack and my sunroof up. Surprise - It rained. Can't plan, Can't predict - so I have to make a rule - never leave my windows open. So much for Unpredictable me. If for one minute I could accept all that is around me and not try to set it into a pattern, then I could be free. What ever the world and my fellow inhabitants throws my way would be joyous in the idea that it is for me not against me. Like the rain. Like the driver of the car that always cuts me off. Like my son who doesn't like me right now. It is all perfect. I may not have the wisdom to see why but I know it is the way it is supposed to be. My only job is to ask "What is this for".

Red, Red Wine and Friends

It was a great day with friends coming over for dinner. Challenged by the dietary restrictions of my partner Lorne and our friends. Vegetarian, Blood Type Diet and one person who eats according to her upbringing and her own desires. As I am attempting to make a Key Lime pie - no Dairy, no Gluten and acceptable to three different Blood types, my fridge decides to break. No pie tonight as I needed to refrigerate before putting on the soy based whipping cream. I am in a disaster with four hungry guests. Dinner works out well UNTIL..... we decide to drink wine. Not sip with dinner - Drink. So being the light weight that I am, my two and a half glasses are one and half too many. I leave my friends in the capable hands of Lorne and decide to go and paint. Well the orange monstrosity that resulted is in need of help. Hopefully something will come of it. With abstract art it isn't always easy to redeem a painting. Sometimes it just flows and others are an effort in surrender to what inspiration guides you. Hopefully soon I ask. Hopefully soon.

Am I My Body? ACIM

It is very difficult to not live in this world saying your body is not real. Simple illness, such as cold, focused by mind on my body in such a way that one could see the obsession. As well, my partner and my friends are committed to alternative diets that create a great deal of effort on meal preparation. Just to state that eating a certain food is not compatible with my blood type is an affirmation on the existence of the body. The Lessons in A Course in Miracles do help in reminding me that I am not this body. I find freedom in the statement - "I am not a body, I am free. For I am still as God created me." (Review VI pg 332)

Yet it is the insidiousness of the voice, the eyes, the senses that tell us that we are real in the body. Sometimes a whisper, yet mostly a roar - a proclamation that we are real. The very breathe we take - in gasps as we exercise and in silence as we meditate - tells us that this body is real. The pleasure we experience through the senses affirms our joy in it, like the addiction to chocolate and coffee. Yet it is not ALL that we are and in truth - not who we are at all. Not even in our suffering through pain and death does it own us. We are Free. We are not these bodies. We are as God created us - immortal spirits that transcend this existence.

Who is the Artist

The term Artist can be used to describe anyone who creates. The Barista at Starbucks is an artist to be able to remember all those drinks - even to write them down. When I write, I can feel the Artist within me stirring and sometimes what comes out is good. When it is good, I always feel like I am only the instrument of the Artist Within. This is most felt when I paint. I usually have an inspiration or idea of what I want to paint or how I want to begin. A colour, a background and then I begin. It is never as I expect. I am truly guided and when it is good, then I know that there is no me and I am one with that universal consciousness. That is all well but the problem is when it isn't good. That when I want to take ownership of my work and criticize myself as having no talent. If the Gift of talent is from the Guide - how can I own my failures. Perhaps my failures are gifts as well.